Epic Games Makes A Big Fuss Over Finally Giving Its Game Store Achievements – Still Lacks A Shopping Cart Function

Who gives a fuck.

Back when the Chinese Spyware store otherwise known as the Epic Gayme Store came into fruition back in 2019 it was often criticized simply because aside from the fact that it was an obvious Tencent sponsored (((backdoor))) the general appeal of yet another store front coming to the PC featuring locked exclusive cancer is simply not acceptable.

Though I do give credit to Tim Sweeney who made the hilarious business decision of personally paying developers off for EGS exclusive titles that we as PC gamers can agree upon that we simply don’t have to pay for any such games with our own money, so instead any gayme branded as an Epic exclusive is simply pirated by many.

Aside from that, when the Epic Store first launched many were baffled by the extreme lack of features it didn’t actually have whereas Valve’s Steam store has had many common features over a decade prior.

Now however Epic Games are making a big fuss over incorporating one of these absent features into the Epic Game Store as early as next week, with that feature being game achievements.

But of course essential features such as being able to purchase multiple games at a time, however why you’d want to do such a thing on the EGS is beyond me, while the Epic Game Store still lacks community forum / discussion integration but now at least faggots and chinks alike can now celebrate earning profile XP from unlocking achievements while playing whatever gay and crappy games are on the Epic Game Store.

It’s only taken Epic three years before they’ve actually put in some effort at bringing their store front platform relative to what others have had for over a decade now.

Epic will be launching achievements next week for games such as Rocket League, Hades, Pillars of Eternity, Kena, Zombie Army 4, Alan Wake Remastered and “more”. With the more being rather vague considering I don’t even fucking know half of these games listed but I’m sure they’re absolute commercial successes in their own right, they have to be if they’re on the Epic Games Store.

Though I’m sure we can all expect achievements to hit the only gayme the goyim continues to use the EGS for, that being Fortnite where hopefully we’ll be able to track our progression for the amount of tomatoes thrown at Epic’s blatant attempts of political subversion with Black Lives Matter events or perhaps the amount of whips cracked at Martin Luther King.