Intel Revamps its Cancerous Stock CPU Cooler With Pathetic Fake Plastic Fins

When it comes to stock CPU coolers that come bundled with your processor, Intel’s stock coolers are renowned for being cheap disgusting trash not worth its weight in the scrap tin that it’s made from given the dissipative capabilities or lack thereof.

Intel has made a few changes to its stock CPU cooler design over the past few years, with these changes bringing such advanced innovations such as removing the copper slug beneath them on certain models followed by a BLACKED model.

Not to be outdone by itself for its new “Alder Lake” processors which seemingly are touted as being the greatest thing ever, not only the fastest processors on the market but also much more “affordable” than AMD’s offerings…. at least if we exclude Intel’s barbaric PL2 state reviewers seemingly thrash around in comparison to an AMD Ryzen processor with PBO disabled as AMD seemingly couldn’t look six feet ahead of them and force PBO on by default, Intel being the biggest kiked tech company around it would only make sense that they’d cheat and weasel their way to victory.

But of course minus that those looking to buy “affordable” 12th gen Intel Core processors soon discovered that in order to actually run their new Alder Lake CPUs they were going to need to invest hundreds of dollars more in KY Jelly for cooling and insertion into the brand new LGA 1700 socket.

Back on track now, Intel looks to “innovate” once more with yet another revamp of its stock CPU cooler from the one seen up above by making no actual changes whatsoever apart from adding hard plastic pseudo-fins on top of the thinner than paper aluminum heatsink that’s become the standard for Intel’s garbage coolers.

Because metal is expensive but repackaging old crap with a flashy new ring and plastic as if to pass off that this
“new” cooler is any more capable than the old one is certainly Intel’s way of saying “we don’t fucking care”.

This new revamped cooler offers exactly nothing new technologically compared to previous iterations with the only changes being made aesthetically, featuring hard plastic “fins” that protrude out and around the cooler to give off the impression that it may absorb and dissipate greater loads of heat, but that just isn’t the case obviously.

For these new Intel stock coolers are to be packaged with Alder Lake processors with a quote unquote “65W” TDP value where in reality Intel’s stock cooler probably wouldn’t stave off thermal throttling for even 35W SKU’s.

Intel’s unlocked processors have forgone any bundled in cooler for generations now, probably considering their “125W” bullshit TDP is immediately nuked thanks to absurd PL2 values. Why bother bundling $5 shit with a top tier processor when the goyim are just going to buy $200+ water cooling solutions anyway, fuck ’em.

It looks as if Intel will be preparing three variants of plastic and tin constructed thermal solutions, with three individual variants being the RH1, RM1 and RS1 of which the largest RH1 cooler will be paired with locked Core i9 processors to ensure thermal throttling with the RM1 cooler as we’ve seen in further detail will be found on locked i7, i5 and i3 CPUs with the even more pathetic RS1 being found on Pentium and Celeron trash.

I wouldn’t be shocked if either of the three would prove to be more ineffective at preserving the life of your processor than the stock coolers provided with the likes of Nehalem…. unless of course Intel can somehow find a way to ignore the laws of thermodynamics much like how NVIDIA recommends a toasty 100 degrees plus for its GDDR6X memory on higher end models.

Either way, Intel’s stock coolers have always and will always be cheap disgusting shit.