[REVIEW] Mafia: City of Lost Heaven – An Aryan Game From A Bygone Era of Gaming

Mafia is the game that defines the golden age of PC games.

A game so well made, so realistic so… White that you simply know it was a goddamn masterpiece.

Developed by Illusion Softworks by the same developer (game designer actually) who Made Kingdom Come Deliverance (Danial Vávra) in 2002.

After witnessing the FILTH that is Mafia (((definitive niggerified edition))) it’s safe to say Modern gaming is kike’d beyond salvation. That’s why I’m taking you into a nostalgia trip (if you’re familiar with this game) and if you’re new.

Into a unnigger’dunjew’d pristine era of gaming.

First thing before anything, if you have bought this/torrented this release from the steam/GOG release you’ll notice the legendary soundtrack is missing, thankfully you can EASILY restore it. Use the second method (Goolag Drive) link copy and paste to Sounds.

Also if you’re gaming on an ultrawide screen here’s another useful link

We begin the game as a normal white working class taxi driver, Thomas Angelo was a regular joe, a decent, god-fearing and humble fellow.

Until two Italian mobsters crashed their car and were in desperate need of a ride. Tommy wasn’t in a position to say no, so after you shake off the other Italian Niggers Mobsters you get these two fine gentlemen into Saliary’s Bar and receive an envelope full of cash (more than enough to repair his car) and an offer to join the Mafia.

Tommy, said he’ll think about it but in reality he wasn’t too keen to become involved with members of an organized crime so he returned into driving worthless Motorlly handicapped pedestrians for a meager sum.

After doing his last round, he was ambushed by the same rival Italian Nigger Mobsters and had to make a break for Saliary’s bar, you managed to juke your way through the bullets and manage to reach Saliry’s bar safely.

The gumbas have been taken care off and Thomas Angelo decides to Join the Criminigger Italian Mafia in order to protect himself (and make have an easy but a faster life instead of a dull boring one).

Your first “test” before you become an official member is to wreck the cars of those pasta-niggers who wrecked your taxi and tried to kill you.

You’re given a bat and some Molotovs and are instructed how to drive, how to sneak and how to pickpocket dead bodies, go wreck the cars and unleash retribution on Morello’s wops.

After wrecking the last car his goombas will rush from the door and try to shoot you, this is where the Molotovs comes in, after frying the dagos you go back to your car and return to Saliry’s barwhere he will make you an official member of his mafia “family”.

Chapter 3: Casual Routine

Now that you’re a member of the Mafia, time to do mafia stuff. Pro-tips before every mission: since Vincenzo is a cheap ass Pizza Nigger he will only supply you with shitty guns and low amount of ammo for said guns.

If you want to get additional/decent ammo for every mission, run over a Donut Nigger for the good old reliable Smith & Wesson Model 10, that way you can be quite liberal with your accuracy and always come packing in any case.

The third mission is a simple driving around, till you hit the Motel the Motel mission is a shining example to Slavo-Germanic game design when the gunfire starts you instinctively run to save your comrades, but there is a shining fast looking yellow car nearing the exit.

If you have 100+IQ you would do well to shoot off it’s tires and maybe put a few bullets in the engine for good measure because after completing the two fire-fights there is a chase sequence that can last 15 fucking minutes and if you shoot off it’s tires and rushed the car before he manages to speed up, you just saved yourself a lot of time.

Chapter 4: Eurobeat

In this chapter you’re forced by Saliary to sneak into a racing complex with the aid of an inside agent, steal one of the fastest cars ever built in 1920’s and make sure you don’t get too much damage on it.

Give the car to a dude who later on will teach you how to break in (i.e: steal, like a nigger) high end cars after every mission (bonus objective).

Now he will sabotage the car and you’ll have to return it, without damaging it too much (if you give to him undamaged like I did, you get a special dialogue).

Chapter 5: this chapter will make you want to cry

Since the Don asked you to sabotage a Rival Mafia’s car, the Rival’s mafia paid him in kind and beat the crap out of the driver who was supposed to win the race for the Don, so now you’re going to replace him.

Drive to the race tracks and prepare for hours of suffering, this mission absolutely broke me when I played it at the tender age of 9. The Mafia race is so notorious, so fucking difficult that they’ve let REAL RACER try it out in-game and if you play the disk version of this game (1.00) you will have no fucking option but to change the difficulty.

Meaning if the car flips, you die and the racers are aggressive in the patched version (GOG/Steam versions) you can change the difficulty at will but since I’m a Machoist and I want you to suffer as much as I have, I’d recommend to play it at least on Normal with Damage on in any case, once you win the race you can take a well deserved break and maybe a shot of Champagne (or whiskey). And now Comes a real fun mission.

Chapter 6: Moonlight Stroll

Upon finishing the race and earning the respect and admiration of the entire mafia and neighborhood you learn from Luigi (the cook not Mario’s soyboy brother) that Hooligans have taken residence into the Don’s territory and are giving people trouble so you’re tasked with escorting his daughter to her home.

And of course while doing a midnight stroll you’re attacked by said Hooligans, beat the crap out of them and save the girl from the Italian Niggers Hooligans.

After such a brave and heroic act, the damsel tends the hero’s wounds and rewards him with heroic sex [you know, back at the days when women were feminine, homely and happy instead of today’s (((empowered))) women who whore themselves to Niggers, murder their own children and promote genocide for their own race].

God fucking damnit I wanna go back…

I’m not gonna spoil the rest of the story (it’s really damn good, go play right fucking now) on the off chance the 2002 graphics deter you from playing the game, have no fear for modders have made a “remaster” without adding niggers, faggotry and feminism into the mix.

Though like modifications this might unstablize the engine, so do it at your own risk, personally I don’t mind the shitty graphics, since the gameplay is still solid and more realistic than all of the AAA trash combined

●Cops react to your car speed, if you cross into a red-light, and even if you crash into somebody who isn’t a cop

●Bullets stun people, and that includes you if you’re being shoot at you’ll receive a stagger animation

●Likewise you can “stunlock” enemies for shooting them consecutively with your semi-automated pistol

●Crashing with your car not only damages the car, but also you AND any passangers you have on board

Cars can run out of gas and may need to refuel

Reloading your pistol ejects the whole clip, meaning any remaining bullets will be lost (as opposed to AAA vidya where the remaining bullets magically go back to your ammo counter)

●You are not superman, your health does not regenerate and can only be restored via ending the chapter or access a medical cabinets which is very sparsely found in the game

●You can shoot from cars and so can your allies with limited accuracy (2002 game mechanics)

●Enemies will take cover and try to ambush you instead of charging like a bunch of Zulu Gorillas

Get the game.

Alternative non-GOG version (with soundtrack intact).

While this game might be dated, it is a nice de-tox to today’s Jewish Niggerfaggottry.

Merry White Christmas Folks, it’s been a pleasure writing this review